Loss and Hope
“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear”
It’s been awhile time since we have written and updated many of you about our general reality of life and our ministry. This was an unconscious decision in some ways to take time to process but we quickly realized that it was also about giving ourselves room to mourn and grieve a season of loss. We have been processing the transition from Massachusetts to Pennsylvania as well as the loss of Rachael’s grandmother, Peggy, and Scott’s Uncle Russ. We have even been processing a loss of vision for ministry. So our updates stopped and there has been radio silence on our end even with social media for several months. For many of us, this past year has been a deep well of pain and loss and for me and I believe many others it has brought out fear that has produced anxiety. Always in our peripheral was this fear that made our steps forward feel leaden. What we did not foresee was that in this silence an ember of hope remained in our hearts. In this time of silence we have started to dream again. Small conversations that Scott and I have had together and with friends about our dreams is fanning that ember of hope into a roaring fire. Silence and community have begun to bring healing but has also given us room to feel whatever we feel. May we all hold room for our grief and for others and may nurture one another towards the hope that still remains. As Emma has been processing through the same things, she wrote a poem that articulated the pain that we have experienced, but also lifted our heads to where our help truly come from:
“It is the worst day of my life.
Since people have died it has broke my heart.
Inside it feels like I’m alone and no one can see me.
Inside my heart and I’m alone.
But good thing God is here to guide me.”
Emma
Embers of Hope
I’m not sure we are fully ready to dive into all our hopes for the future yet. We are getting there so you can expect some dreams to start to surface in the months to come and how you can be apart of this new journey. What I can tell you is that I, Rachael, will be resuming the pursuit of earning my Master of Divinity Degree through Fuller Theological Seminary this spring. Emma has returned to school, which is within walking distance of our home, and we are so grateful that she is thriving! Wesley is our little ninja and has more energy than we know what to do with. Declan is growing in leaps and bounds, and his vocabulary is growing exponentially, when he chooses to speak. Scott continues to work with a landscaping company and is grateful that spring is on the horizon. These are our glimpses of hope, friends.
If you would like to partner with us in this dream please click the donate link below or visit our website.
A Voice to Our Stories
Many of you have asked why the Podcast suddenly stopped. I needed the room to be and not produce anything as I processed and grieved, this is the short answer. However, it has also brought about a lot of ideas and I am excited to relaunch the Podcast with a brand new series coming this April!!!! Keep your eyes open for another email about this upcoming series. GET READY FOR IT!
Also feel free to catch up on our last series Women in the Old Testament! You can find When Narratives Collide on Apple and Spotify. You can also listen on our website just click the link below.